Oceanic Silence

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Beside peaceful waters
Here I rest
Waiting for something
Or was it someone?
The oceanic scene,
The calming waves,
The sky with the clouds so white
As white as the pearls on the ocean floor
The seagulls seem to be silent today
I wonder why?
It seems the whole world
Has simply become muted
Nothing but the waves and the salty air
Simply singing me their aquatic lullaby
It’s all I have left
And all I will probably ever have
The huge crowds of people I met each day
Are gone as well
At least the fish wish me a good-morning and good-night
I wonder where everyone is
Or if they were ever even there at all
It seems all the roads that once led me home
Only lead to the ocean floor
The smog filled sky
The lights of the city that carried the stars away
The trains, cars, and airplanes talking them all so far away
Who knew the ocean they forgot about,
Could take them all out in an instant?
One girl was saved
One could say it was a “miracle”
One could even say it was a “curse”
Whatever it might’ve been
There she is
“She” as in me
A “me” who could never see the beauty in everyday life
Who only knew of the routine of her daily life
Did she miss it?
Sadly enough
No
She hated that life
The blank and empty stares
The noises never reaching the ones they were meant for
I guess the sea was as sick of them as I was
Maybe that’s why it saved me
All of my family and friends
Lost to our selfishness
For that one moment
When everything was in chaos
I saw life in the world
They tried so hard to survive
Finally showing their hearts
Why did they wait so long?
The end draws near
Even for I
The buildings that once held so many people
Now only rooftops on which to stand on
Can tell of what used to be
One step
Two step
Three
The road where the yellow arrows go
Where may they lead me now?
A me who once knew where to go
Who knew everything there is to know
I can’t believe how much of a fool I was!
Four step
Five step
Six
Nothing to protect my blistered feet
Nothing to fill my empty heart
Just shock and wonder is all I am now
Seven step
Eight step
Nine
Where am I even going?
It seems the sea is just taking me into its current
Guiding me somewhere
Somewhere to keep me safe
A way to say
“I’m sorry…”
I only wish I could say the same
Because I can’t really say sorry to anyone
All I can say is…
“Why?”
I know that you were tired of everything
Of everyone
Yet even I who was supposedly “tough”
Just had a stone heart
That’s what they were really saying
I’ve thrown that heart away
But I will admit
It was good for rock-skipping at least
Going miles and miles away from me
Finally free of me
Another step
Yet another step
And another
I’ve lost count on how far I’ve gone
But I can’t give up
Not now
Maybe in all of this
Maybe I can make something right
The price for just one person’s freedom
Cost the world everything
Lost in the sea of forgotten memories
From all those billions of lives I…

I guess the old saying of
“Be careful about what you wish for”
Really is true
Freedom…
It’s a deadly thing
Freedom…
What is it really?
One more step…
Two more steps…
Three…
I can’t do this
This world I hated so much
Well…
I guess I really did kill it
But if I could turn all that hatred
And turn it into LOVE
Could I possibly find something worth caring for?
Something worth striving for?
Anything at all will do…
I’m kind of desperate here…
More steps…
More and even more steps…
Just another one…
I feel like I’m being washed away
Slowly becoming the sea
But I can’t go yet
I have to do something
Anything
My oceanic friends
Please
In exchange for my freedom
Give those people
The heart I never had
Let them be in peace
The one thing they could never have
Let them finally reach their destination
Let their voices be heard
A heart that could never truly hear them
A heart that never knew the honest truth of the matter
They like I
Were hurting the whole time
Weren’t they?
Family
Friends
Strangers
The many crowds of people
So different and diverse
One thing connecting them all together
Want
Wanting freedom
Wanting love
Wanting riches
Glory
Honor
Power
Why of all people
Was my wish granted?
A foolish little girl
A stupid, immature young lady
Can I finally wash those hurtful words away?
Words etched into their salty air around me
Is destruction always this pretty?
One…
Two…
Three…
Will I ever love again?
Three…
Two…
One…
It’s now or never
Can LOVE replace the freedom I took from them?
Can LOVE truly save them all?
No time for questions
Here and now
It’s okay to say
“You’re forgiven…”
“Because ‘freedom’”
“Has finally come”

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